Relational Life Therapy, aka RLT, was developed by a master couples’ therapist, Terry Real, bestselling author of New Rules of Marriage. I began my RLT training with Terry in 2007 and immediately fell in love with this model for helping couples create long lasting, significant change in their relationships.

This is the final blog in a three-part series on the basic types of dysfunction found in couples. The first article in the series was on the “Hot Fighting Couple.” The second article described the “Cool Distant Couple.” This third and last one in the series is about the “Pursuer / Distance Couple.”

As I mentioned in the first part of my three-part series of blogs, there are three basic types of dysfunctions in couples. My first blog in this series described the “Hot, Fighting Couple.” This one will describe the “Cool, Distant Couple.” The last one will discuss the “Pursuer/ Distancer Couple.”

In my experience in working with couples for 38 years, I have observed three basic types of couple’s dynamics. They include 1) The Hot, Fighting Couple, 2) The Cool, Distant Couple and 3) The Pursuer/ Distancing Couple. I will describe each one and explain what can be done to help couples discontinue these patterns. This three part blog will start by describing the Fighting Couple.

Relational Joy is a combination of love, generosity, and cherishing. When partners are being their “best relational selves,” they can achieve a state of Relational Joy. This is what most couples are seeking and have a deep desire to achieve in their relationships.

Relational Life Therapy, aka RLT, is a therapeutic model for helping couples create long-lasting, healthy changes in their relationships. It was developed by a brilliant marriage and family therapist from Boston, Terry Real.

Couples who are seeking to improve or transform their relationship often use a “hit or miss” or “trial and error” approach to finding the best professional to help them with their goals. I have been in the field for 38 years and I have seen my share of couples who have been through two to five rounds of couples therapy achieving very few, if any, results.

Many couples are searching for ways to improve and/or transform their relationships. They often want more closeness and connection than what they saw in their parents’ marriages. However, they lack the skill set or knowledge base to create what they are yearning for. So, couples find themselves seeking the right professional to help them achieve their relational goals.

What do couples need to know about this professional “marketplace?” First, they should know that only one in ten therapists are qualified to help couples according to the Zur Institute. Yet, many therapists will say they do couples counseling without having the specialized training to do so.